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Bandaids are for surface wounds. They help heal or protect our temporary discomforts so that new skin can grow over the top of the old one. Paper cuts are surface wounds. Sometimes we don’t even practically notice them being there until we run our hand in water or something to cause it to sting. They aren’t that big of a deal. Just slap a bandaid on it and it’s fine, right? Then why after days of covering them do they still hurt?

Paper cuts are puncture wounds in disguise. On the surface appears a thin line that only seemed to cause a slight disruption but underneath lies a space wide open for any and everything to take hold. But, how would you know? You can only see from above.

Inside this clean, crisp, and cut line lies a deeper wound that was on the verge of healing but unexpectedly… life happened. Just like it always does, right? 

I’ve spent an extended amount of time disinfecting one wound that I never stopped to take care of the others. Over the years my body has collected numerous amount of wounds and I have only just now realized that I am running low on bandaids. 

So many feelings of pain, heartache, darkness, light, some I have no name for, run through my veins wild. I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the feeling of being unprepared. Overwhelmed with the feeling of dissatisfaction because I was blindsided by my own body. I trusted that she knew how to self-heal and would be alright. She’s a tough girl. Slap a bandaid on those wounds and get back to life. There are harsher things in this world, right?

Why do I feel like she has betrayed me? Have I betrayed her? Was she triggered because she was letting me know that this was out of my control? 

This wound is too deep, the blood is too thick. Why have you betrayed me when all I was doing was trying to protect you. Protect you from yourself.

Not all wounds need bandaids. Some need air. Some need to be exposed for what they really are in order to heal from the inside out. But they cannot heal if you do not acknowledge what they are and what they are not. 

Some wounds are surface wounds. Some of them are not. 

A paper cut is not always a thin line but a thin line in disguise.

A bandaid does not always heal.

Sometimes a bandaid can do the exact opposite.

Paper cuts are not always papercuts and bandaids are not always bandaids.