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I am not sure how I ended up like this.

You are a train on never-ending tracks, and I have been too afraid to jump off because what is there at the bottom other than sharp rocks and dirt and hard truths and concrete realities that I am not yet ready to face.

I enjoy this pain of being tossed back and forth in the wind and not feeling like I can identify my surroundings or understand what’s going on because deep down, I like the feeling of not being in control because at least now it is someone else’s problem and not mine.

I like living a life on a never-ending loop of Gaussian blur.

I like living in constant Sepia tones.

I like spinning in circles where the world looks like a panorama set to three-speed.

We are way too obsessed with controlling the uncontrollable

We are way too obsessed with consistency 

I want to be drunk on sensations

High on the aesthetically pleasing bits of life that I can grasp because I won’t be able to grab them any longer one day.

One day this feeling of being lost and enjoying the part of being found will fade away.

And when it does,

Then

What will I do?